Joan Crawford may have won an Academy Award but she is probably best known for the scathing depiction her daughter wrote in the 1978 book Mommie Dearest. My introduction to the story was through watching the 1981 movie based on the book (some say it is campy, but in my personal experience, it’s not *that* campy — not if you have lived with someone who acts that way in real life).
For those of you who don’t know the story, and for those of you who know but like to be reminded, here is a quick recap.
Joan Crawford, renowned actress, was denied the right to adopt children because she was unmarried and seen as an unfit parent. She found a way around that, and adopted a little girl. The little girl was initially named Joan Jr., but after a little while her name was changed to Christina. (This happened with her brother too, adopted later, who was given the name of Joan’s boyfriend, but then years later when they broke up, she changed his name to Christopher. Weird.)
Christina claims that her mother abused her. The book talks about specific incidents from her childhood that were unusual and harmful to her, and most people will recognize the infamous “wire hangers” scene. She wrote the book during her mother’s final years, and published it after Joan was dead.
Now, there are many people who do not believe Christina’s story. Many of Joan’s friends denied seeing anything like the treatment Christina wrote of. However, there were also friends and neighbors who admitted they had felt sorry for the children and seen Joan be a questionable parent.
One of the most common things that detractors say is that Christina’s portrayal of her mother is so dramatic and outlandish it can’t possibly be true. People say that the movie is so over-the-top, so campy, that it is beyond any credibility.
Let me tell you something: there is nothing outlandish about Christina’s story. Everything she wrote about is completely believable. The reason I believe it is that my own mother is very similar. The things that she remembers about her mother’s treatment of her, the things she labels as abusive, are all things that my own mother has done or are inkeeping with her worldview.
People say that the actress’s portrayal of Joan is so dramatic it is silly. I disagree. My own mother is just as dramatic, and she is real. My mother is an alcoholic, just like Christina’s. My mother is obsessed with cleanliness, just like Christina’s. Trust me, it may seem dramatic, but that doesn’t make it less realistic.
I’m frustrated for Christina. Obviously there are many people who loved her mother as an actress and so defend her as a parent, but that makes little sense. There is no reason why a famous or popular person should be a good parent. There is no reason why Christina would lie about what she divulged — mainly because if she was going to divulge “pretend” abuse, then she would have talked about much more damning and offensive situations. Most of the things that Christina remembers are subtle mind-games and power plays. If she was going to lie, she would lie better, and bigger, than that. I completely believe Christina because I have lived it too.
One of the biggest pieces of “proof” that detractors use to deny Christina’s (and Christopher’s) abuse is that Joan adopted twin baby girls when Christina was eight, and those children have stated that their mother was never abusive. Hmm. Interesting, right? But here is what I know — everyone, detractors or no, who has known or researched the family, agrees that Christina was the one her mother had trouble with. To me, that sounds like scapegoat. Christina was treated differently than the other children because she was strong-willed. Also, though her younger sisters may have never been abused (they were doted on and given much love, and were her fans in return — essentially taking on the role of “golden/good children” in the dysfunctional set up), they were so much younger than Christina that they were not around for much of it, and by the time they were cognizant of things, their older sister spent most of her time at boarding school. Their view of their mother is very accurate for their own experiences, but hardly that compelling in relation to Christina’s experience.
I can identify with that, too. I was treated very differently than my sister, growing up. That is a fact that my sister has brought to my attention several times, and not just an opinion I have. She continually tells me, upon remembering our past, that the way I was treated was unfair. I believe that I was the scapegoat in my family of origin, and my sister’s role may have been “lost child.” I do not much think the way she was treated was fair either, but I do agree that I was the one who was actively targeted. I absolutely see how Joan could have treated her first child abusively and treated her later children with love and adoration.
Because of how similar Mommie Dearest is to my own mother (strangely enough, our mother went through a phase when we were very little of asking us to call her “mommy dearest”), I have been trying to figure out what exactly was *wrong* with Joan Crawford. Obviously my first instinct is that she had Narcissistic Personality Disorder because that is what I believe my own mother has. It seems as though different people have retroactively diagnosed her with many different possible disorders, ranging from bipolar to OCD to Borderline Personality Disorder. I suppose we can’t know for certain, but Borderline and Narcissism are on a spectrum, as far as I’m concerned, and I think Joan was on that spectrum too.
I mainly just wanted to say, I believe Christina Crawford’s story. And I sort of imagine that when my own mother dies, I will receive the same twisted message in the reading of her will that Christina received – ”It is my intention to make no provision herein for my son Christopher or my daughter Christina for reasons which are well known to them.”
-Here is an article about Mommie Dearest that is interesting: click here
-Here is the Wikipedia article on dysfunctional families which lists family roles: click here
